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By Margaret Patricia Eaton

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Speak Up

Outside Moncton City Hall on Friday, October 16 at noon, men wearing dark business suits; hospital scrubs or work clothes and hard hats, will be cramming their feet into pointy-toed shoes or strapping on high-heeled sandals, in preparation for the Walk a Mile in Her Shoes event.

Enlarge Photo

photo by Christine Lund

Looking good, men! Brave and willing participants will take to the street for a unique fundraiser on Oct. 16. This shot is from last year’s Walk a Mile in Her Shoes event.

This walk to increase awareness of gender violence was proposed in 2001 by Frank Baird, a licensed marriage and family therapist in California. Concerned about the statistics that show one in three women has experienced gender violence in her lifetime, he says, "That means someone you know or someone you care about has been the victim of sexual violence. Violence against women does not just affect women. Men are hurt and angered when women they care about are raped. Men are hurt and angered when they try to develop relationships with women in an atmosphere of fear and mistrust and blame. And the same violence that targets women also targets men because rape isn't about sex, it's about power, control and violence."

The walks started small and have grown larger each year as more and more communities across North America recognize the need to do something meaningful about violence against women. There are now 161 walks internationally. This is Moncton's second year, with the support of the City of Moncton and major corporate sponsor Camco Construction. Among the 100 or more walkers will be Honourary Chairman, Robert Gallant, Raven Sun Management; Trevor MacAusland, Geeks on Ice; a large contingent from Investors Group; men from the Hospital Physiotherapy Department and the Times & Transcript's Terry Parker.

Men are encouraged, but not required, to walk in women's shoes and are asked to obtain $100 minimum in sponsorship. The proceeds will go to the Coalition Against Abuse in Relationships (CAAR), a non-profit organization representing many service providers whose members work directly or indirectly with victims or perpetrators of violence in relationships. Women and children are also invited to participate and walk alongside the men.

Al Robichaud, part owner of Camco Construction and senior project manager, will be walking on October 16, and says, "Walk a Mile in her Shoes is a good cause. It brings out an issue that has been tucked away behind closed doors for far too long."

Indeed, the silence that surrounds relationship abuse is an important issue as it is estimated that only 38 per cent of female victims report the crime to the police force or don't even realize that it is a crime, according to the Muriel McQueen Fergusson Foundation.

The 2009 Attitudinal Survey on Violence Against Women, released in September by Mary Schryer, Minister responsible for the Status of Women, has disturbing implications. Of 550 New Brunswickers surveyed by a Harris/Decima poll, only just under 60 per cent of respondents considered it a crime for a boyfriend to slap his girlfriend if she flirted with another man; only 47 percent thought it was a crime for a husband to slap his wife during an argument and more than one quarter believe it's okay for a husband to force his wife to have sex against her will.

Those attitudes have to change if we are ever going to have a society free from physical and emotional abuse.

As we know, emotional abuse and physical violence that begins with "one little slap" tends to escalate to frightening proportions. The NB Silent Witness project, on display in the City Hall lobby during the Walk a Mile in Her Shoes event, is a testament to that escalation.

The Silent Witness Project is a traveling exhibit of life-size red wooden silhouettes. Each represents a New Brunswick woman who was murdered by a husband, partner or intimate acquaintance, since 1990. Because these women no longer have a voice they're called Silent Witnesses. There are not just one or two of them, although even one is too many. There are 24. Among them are eight murder-suicides. In addition, along with the murdered female partner, there were two children, a mother-in-law and a current boyfriend also murdered.

Moncton men are joining together to say this violence must stop. To register for Walk a Mile in Her Shoes, e-mail amber@camcogroup.com or go to www.camcogroup.com/walk.

Women's shoes and walk t-shirts will be provided for all who pre-register. Pick up pledge sheets at City Hall Lobby. On-site sign-in will begin at 11 a.m. at City Hall on Friday, October 16. The walk begins at noon. Subway will provide lunch and foot massages will be available from Fingers, Faces & Feet.