Stumble Upon

del.icio.us

Digg

Facebook

Print

Email

Speak Up

It seems that with each passing year we hear of kids getting involved with drugs and alcohol and younger and younger ages. The prevalence and availability of both has never been higher and for many kids the thrill of the unknown and peer pressure can contribute to them making poor and even dangerous decisions.

As parents, it is very important that you speak to you children open and honestly about drugs and alcohol, preferably before their friends do.

With the use of alcohol being particularly common in many homes, and prescription medications being a frequent part of many of our lives, even young children have an awareness of these substances. Even in homes where these items are less common, children are exposed to images of people smoking, drinking and even using drugs on a regular basis through magazines and television.

In the United States, the average age that a child first tries alcohol is 11 and for marijuana it's 12. Avoiding the topic doesn't protect your child from these substances.

It's far better to arm yourself with the knowledge and tools to deal with them in a positive and constructive way as studies have show that children who are comfortable talking with their parents about drugs and alcohol are more likely to remain drug free.

You certainly don't have to bombard your child with information and questions, but the earlier you take advantage of opportunities to discuss drugs and alcohol the better it will be for you and your child. Make sure the discussion fits the age of your child and see how receptive and interested they are.

Tell your five or six year old that they should only take medicines when a doctor or their mom or dad tell them it's ok. Ask your nine or ten year old what they know about marijuana if it's mentioned in something you are watching together on television. The important starting point is to let your child know that the line of communication is open.

Being a good role model and explaining your decisions and actions regarding drugs and alcohol are also important steps for helping your child. Letting them know why, how and when you consume drugs and alcohol will help them to understand the choice that goes into using any substance.

If you find that your reasons aren't always the best, then it may be worth taking a look at your own habits and behaviours - as these go a long way to determining the habits and behaviours of your child.

Another productive focus of discussion can be helping your children to make smart decisions - including making tough decisions about friends. Allowing your children to make age-appropriate decisions gives them experience, but more importantly the confidence to make good decisions.

Letting your 7-year-old choose whether to have several friends, or just one or two to their birthday party and the theme of the party is one example. An older child might be allowed to choose which activities or sports to become involved with.

Encouraging skills like sharing and cooperation and involvement in healthy activities that help you children to be active and also to make solid friendships.

Overall, it is your actions and openness that will determine how frequently and openly your children talk to you about sensitive topics. While there is no way to guarantee that your children will always be honest with you, you can definitely make it easier on them - and you.

* Paul Merrigan is a certified private personal counsellor and stay-at-home dad to two boys. He holds a M.Ed. in Counselling Psychology. To contact him or ask a parenting question for a future column, email paulmerrigan@hotmail.com or call 364-7401.